Photos from Cambodia

I have just received word from Savong that his Cambodian orphanage is doing great. He is now up to 27 children!

Combined with all the work that goes into his English language school, he is one busy guy who is making his country a better place.

He sent me some pics from the orphanage. As you can see, Cambodian kids are some of the happiest people no matter how little they have in life.

If you would like to donate money to the orphanage or the school, please let me know. I am hoping to travel back to Cambodia in the next couple of months and I would love to support them with as much money as possible.

And please check out Savong's website at http://www.savong.com/.

NEW MOVIES SIMPLIFIED!

If you haven't been able to catch all the hot new movies lately or you just don't want to shell out some hard earned cash to find out that the movie SUCKED (I'm talking about you, The Lovely Bones), then I have the solution for you. 

Phil's abbreviated movie descriptions! 

Why go to the movie for two hours when you can read a single sentence? 

I make it easy for you because I know your time is valuable and you have better things to do like twittering and texting!

Okay, I'll admit it.  I haven't seen ALL the latest movies.  I just can't bring myself to see It's Complicated, Invictus or Alvin and the Chipmunks:  The Squeakquel.  I will reluctantly go see Crazy Heart in the near future and possibly The Blind Side.  After all, it is Academy Award Season and I like to fill out my ballot with authority and conviction.  It makes me feel like I'm an insider.  Hehe. 

So here is what you've been waiting for!  The list.  Beware there may be some SPOILERS in case you do want to catch the longer editions in a dark theater. 

          (500) DAYS OF SUMMER:  The boy is an idiot and the girl is a cocktease and they don’t live happily ever after, at least not together.  2 and 1/2 stars out of 4. 

          THE HURT LOCKER:  A guy with a death wish difuses a bomb in Iraq. And another. And another. And another … 3 stars out of 4. 

          A SINGLE MAN:   A dapper college pr
ofessor can’t get over the death of his boyfriend and even skinny dipping with a student can’t cheer him up. 3 and 1/2 stars out of 4. 

          UP IN THE AIR:  A depressing drama disguised as a comedy about a guy who fires people for a living and collects airmiles and wonders why he isn’t happy. 2 stars out of 4. 

          AVATAR:  A handicapped soldier sympathizes with a civilization of blue people who can bring people back to life but have no idea how to fight a war. 3 stars out of 4. 

          THE LOVELY BONES: A little girl gets raped and killed and no one suspects the creepy neighbor because everyone in that time period has really horrific fashion sense. 1 star out of 4. 

          INGLORIOUS BASTARDS: A bunch of Nazi hunters beat, mutilate, shoot and burn the bad guys all in the name of good fun. 1 and 1/2 stars out of 4. 

          PRECIOUS: A poor, fat, ugly black chick gets abused by her family and when you think her life can’t get any worse, it does. 2 stars out of 4. 

          AN EDUCATION: Older man seduces a high school student and no one (even her family) suspects that he might just be a married man who likes to pop cherries for a living. 2 and 1/2 stars out of 4.

HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY DUSTY!!!!

My amazing badass Pekingese made it to the very ripe age of 17!   I adopted him (along with his brothers) when he was five years old and he has survived falling off a balcony, falling into an infinity pool, falling down a flight of stairs and being crushed by a human falling on top of him.  (For the record, all of these were accidents and I swear I take good care of him.)   

He only has one eye and has multiple health problems but he still seems to enjoy life and LOVES to eat. 

He especially likes McDonald's french fries so that is what he got for his birthday.  Yes, I realize that salty fast food is not very healthy for a 17 year old human never mind a 17 year old dog, but at Dusty's age he deserves to get what he wants.   

Of course, he had to wear his party hat because he was in a particularly festive mood today. 

Congratulations Dusty.  You are an awesome dog! 

Love,
yer daddy

iPhone Ap of the Day: Lingopal

The iPhone is a pretty cool piece of equipment. If you have one, you know what I'm talking about and probably have it within 2 feet of you right now.

The best part of this "phone" is how much other crap it can do. Someday I'm sure it will iron my clothes and do my grocery shopping but for now, I am quite happy that it can arrange my schedule and play my iTunes. I am also happy that it is teaching me how to speak Korean.

I really have no need to learn Korean. I don't think I'll be taking a trip to Korea anytime soon. My sister-in-law is Korean but I think we would understand each other a lot better if we conversed in English. The only reason why I'm trying to learn Korean is because I can.

And there is an ap for that.

Lingopal (Korean version) is just the thing I needed. Not only is it free but it has a ton of useful phrases such as "Your country is very beautiful" and "The people from your country are wonderful!" and the very practical "Do you mind if I hang out here until it's safe back where I farted?"

That is what is so great about Lingopal. It goes above and beyond the regular phrases. Here are some of my favorite phrases for which they supply the Korean equivalent:

I know I'm not Jesus but I'm still pretty good.

This is a condom. If we put it on, we can sleep together.

Your cheeks are especially beautiful. I have a weakness for cheeks.

I wonder if you are a gentle lover or a tiger. Growl for me.

It's unusual but since I met you, my trousers feel tighter.

And if you are feeling sexually adventurous ...

I want to kiss you and take a dump on your chest.

But if things don't work out with the ladies in this strange land, you can also give them a few parting shots ...

You're a bitch.

Eat the peanuts out of my shit.

Your mother fucks for fish-heads down at the docks.

And how about this one ...

Suck my dick and wash my car.

Of course, this phrase could create a lot of confusion. Are you requesting that she suck your dick while she washes the car (which could be prove difficult but still possible) or do you want her to suck your dick and then she go wash the car (while you go watch tv or drink Korean beer or something)? Since you are in a foreign country, I suppose there is always room for negotiation.

The only problem I have with this ap is that the Korean speakers say the phrases way too fast and I have a very difficult time repeating what they say. For example, when I try to say, "I can tell you are very experienced", I am very afraid that I might be saying, "If I wanted to hear from an asshole, I would have farted."

I've got to find a Korean friend and try all this out. I am determined not to embarrass myself when I finally get to Seoul.

Quote of the Day

"It took me three years to realize that my cat was masturbating."

Poochinski

I'm passing this along after seeing it on another website.

Poochinski was a failed tv pilot so it was sadly never picked up.

I can't imagine why it didn't succeed. From what I saw, it was touching, poignant and unforgettable.

But they didn't get the sound effects quite right. I'm pretty sure that when testicles are bitten, they do not sound crunchy. That is not coming from first hand experience but it is an educated guess.

Enjoy.

Tough day surprises

This will be my 16th year in veterinary medicine and I had to double check the math to make sure that was correct. (Didn't I just graduate 5 years ago?? Damn!)

Yet I still have days where curve balls come at me from all directions.

A pet with a weird illness. A medication causes unexpected side effects. An owner doesn't have a lot of money yet has a critically ill patient. These are just some examples which can make my profession very frustrating and make me want to slug lattes at Starbucks.

But even though there were a lot of challenges today, I received two unexpected gifts that made everything okay.

The first was a numbered print sent to me from a friend. The artist is Fabio Napoleoni and his works have a whimsical, somewhat sad charm that is very appealing. The picture below is not a good one but it can give you some idea of the style. I can't wait to put it up on my wall.

The second gift was from a client who had some problems sending his dog from Texas back to California. I had to do a little bit of extra paperwork to make it possible for the pet to fly in cold weather and for that, he and his wife sent me flowers. It was a very generous gift for such a small act on my part. Furthermore, this couple are well known actors yet they have none of that infamous "Hollywood attitude." Gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling to know that some nice people made it to the top.

Small things can really mean a lot.

I am blessed to know some really great, caring people.

Welcome to the New Year!

Well, we haven't died yet.

I must be a pessimist at heart. As the end of every year rolls around, I start to think about how the world is going to end at the stroke of midnight.

Nuclear bomb?
Terrorist attack?
Mutant virus?
Alien invasion?
Computer software glitch?

Being a pessimist is not always a bad thing. When things turn out better than expected (in this case, I was thrilled that there was a dawn on January 1st), I am a much happier person. It's kinda like a joyful rebound effect.

And with every new year, I make resolutions. I don't make them before January 1st in case the world does end and then all that thinking would be a complete waste of time and energy. I make them on January 1st in between the sleeping, laying around and eating lots of carbs.

So here is my list. It's a little personal but what else are blogs for if not to share those innermost secrets?

• get Dusty the superdog through another year
• travel to some exotic destination and do a little Sally Struthering
• save animals. Make their owners happy
• get drunk with Sarah Silverman
• make a television pilot
• learn to love the simple things
• write, write, write
• make an impression
• keep my bathroom clean
• stop biting my nails
• do something that scares the shit outta me
• give Starbucks less of my money
• find the answers without asking so many damn questions
• make enough money to live in L.A.
• don't be sad that it's over. Be happy that it happened at all
• try to grow a horn out of my forehead. Make people uncomfortable for staring at it
• eat, pray, love. Or maybe just eat
• see Def Leppard in concert
• find Dog
• lick my elbow
• substitute good luck for lack of talent
• take lots of pictures. win contests to support the habit
• become feared if I can't be respected

and make it through another year!

Hope everyone has a great 2010. Let's not die this year, okay?