My Dream Job

Have you heard?

NBC has a new show this fall about a grumpy veterinarian!  I would be perfect!

Well, not for the main character because the show has already been cast and Justin Kirk gets to play the smarmy vet.

But they might need a consultant for the show.  A living breathing real life veterinarian who has suffered for years in the trenches of animal care.  And that, my friends, would be me.

A job that combines veterinary medicine, television, comedy and extra money?  I can't think of anything better.

Check it out.  What do you think?

http://www.nbc.com/animal-practice/

Mr. Greenblatt, have your people call me people.  Stat!

Sign of the times

This was a sign that I happened to see in an upscale neighborhood.

Dang, these neighborhood watch people are hard-core!  

You sure don't want to be caught buying ice tea or skittles in this 'hood.  Or you gonna pay, brother, you gonna pay. 

Memories of Savannah

I was in Savannah, Georgia last week for a veterinary seminar.  I learned the proper way to amputate a penis.

But enough of the exciting stuff.

Savannah is one of my favourite places in the world.  There is something really charming about a place where strangers say hello as they pass on the street, people dress up for church, kids fly kites in the park and the beautiful squares are filled with old trees draped with Spanish moss.

And you can drink beer or liquor in public places.  Score for the homeless drunks!  

The food is great too if you like large portions of the really fattening stuff.  I usually try to make it to Mrs. Wilkes' Dining Room for some fried chicken, black eyed peas and collards but I missed my chance this visit.  Something to look forward to next time.

As always, I had some observations as I was strolling around town.  And I strolled A LOT.  Most of my time (when I wasn't learning about medicine and surgery) was spent walking around town and I didn't once get bored.  There was always so much to see and it was all free.

So these were some of the thoughts that filled my head ...

•    Paula Deen's restaurant is overrated but if you are a woman older than 60 and LOVE Paula, then you should probably eat there.  

• If you sit long enough in one of the squares, someone will eventually sit down and talk with you and the conversation will likely revolve around God and money.  

• The Hilton deSoto is a terrible eyesore in the historic district and it's criminal that a beautiful old hotel was demolished on the same site.  

• I am not a fan of soft shell crabs.  When I ate them, I kept thinking that they weren't that good and their lives were in vain.  

• Savannah is a place where a lot of wives drag their reluctant husbands.  And sometimes their even more reluctant teenage sons.  

• I've seen Miss Chablis and she truly cannot lip sync to save her life.  

• How is it possible that two different taxi drivers tried to rip me off?  For the record, it's a $28 flat fee from the historic district to the airport.  

• Five Guys Burger and Fries make really good burgers that probably taste a lot better when it's 2am and you're still drunk.  

• They should put a bench in the same place where Forrest Gump sat.  It would be crazy popular.  

• Savannah at night is truly scary.  I was so freaked out the first night I woke up in a cold sweat thinking that some entity was in my room and staring at me. I'm not convinced that it didn't happen.  

• Fried green tomatoes are much better than they sound.  

• There are four types of people in Savannah; SCAD (Savannah College of Art and Design) students, tourists, homeless looking people who may or may not be homeless and rich looking business people who may or may not be rich business people.  

• Don't put Savannah Bee Honey in your carry-on luggage.  They will take it away.  Bastards.  

• Is is so wrong that I saw a powder blue seersucker suit and wanted to buy it?  

• Leopold's ice cream was my most exciting discovery on this trip.  

If you have never been to Savannah, I strongly encourage you to go.  Make sure you stay at a B&B (and be prepared to pay for it) and eat lots and walk lots and try to meet as many interesting people as you can.  

And have fun!

Retro Dominican Republic

This is my attempt at a retro grunge style of photo.

Not sure it really worked but hey, it was fun putting it all together.

Photoshop is the best time waster ever!

A Dominican Magician

In case you've ever wondered if it is possible to punch screwdrivers up your nose, I have something to say:

Yes, it is possible and here is the proof.

While we were drinking rum and eating fish on the beach, I paid for this travelling magician to show us some tricks.  I didn't expect him to pull out two screwdrivers and promptly whack them into his sinuses.  This what not something I wanted to see since my stomach was already feeling a little queasy from all the beachy sun and sea time.

He also swallowed two bullets and regurgitated them back up.  Pretty impressive but I probably could do that if I really tried.  And Steve-O did that with live goldfish so I felt like I had seen it before.

And he also threaded a lot of string through his nose which I thought was a bit of a filler act.

He did something with fire too.  I think he juggled it or something.  I normally would remember but there was a girl beside me and she was very distracting.  And not in a good way.

If you want to see him, he's pretty easy to find.  Just keep your eye out for him along the Sosua Beach in the Dominican Republic.  According to my dad, he's been walking around there for at least the past ten years, possibly longer.

The Domincan Republic: Photoshopped!

More photos from the island paradise ...

Memories of the Dominican Republic

A couple of weeks ago, I was down in the Dominican Republic which is one half of the Caribbean island of Hispaniola.

There are many great things about this country but most tourists remember the long stretches of relatively deserted beaches ...

Did I go a little overboard on the photshop?  Hmmm, yeah, should have pulled back on the saturation a little bit but the colors are still pretty dramatic.  

This is my dad and not some random guy wearing trousers on the beach.  

At one of the restaurants, this dog was patiently waiting for the leftovers.  Fish bones?  No problem!  

Okay, yes, I take pictures of flowers ...

... and weirdly shaped structures that are difficult to tell if they are plant or animal.  

Sunset over Sosua Beach.  Sosua is on the north coast just adjacent to the big city of Puerto Plata.  As the sun goes down, most people's blood alcohol goes up.  

If you want to get it all out, then nothing should stop you.  No matter where you are.  

In this case, we were on the top of the mountain in Puerto Plata otherwise known as the National Park of Isabella de Torres.  There is a large Jesus here with outstretched arms, kinda like in Rio, but on a much smaller scale.  

This little guy was just hamming it up for my camera.  I luv taking pictures of kids.    

Lillies.  Just because.  Much less expressive than kids but they still possess a certain quiet charm.  

This is my tourist shot at the top of the mountain.  Great views.  Something a little different than just lying like a roast chicken on a beach.  

I'm looking a little pasty.  And that's because I bought 200SPF sunblock by mistake.  

This is a very large rock on a beach.  It's an amazing photo, isn't it?  

I said that because there really isn't anything else to say about it.  

Shells.  I took the time to edit this photo so I'm going to include it in the collection, damnit.  

These pictures were taken at La Boca which is a little hidden away from the usual tourist destinations.  Every time I've been here, it has always been deserted or almost deserted.  Great body surfing if you're into that kinda stuff.  

And there is a small restaurant here that serves the best fish I've ever tasted (not including sushi which is in a class by itself) .  

Pinas!  

There are more photos on their way and I promise you they are way more interesting.  At least I hope so.