It’s been TWO years since I moved to Los Angeles from Las Vegas. Goshdarnit, I can scarcely believe it.
And so, being the analytical creature that I am, I wanted to make sure I am on track with all my goals.
Here is the list of all the things I wanted to do and whether I have achieved them.
* Overcome fear of parallel parking in tight spots ....not achieved.
* Overcome fear of driving in Los Angeles ....not achieved.
* Overcome fear of living in Los Angeles ....not achieved. But maybe soon.
* Allowed past a velvet rope and welcomed into a VIP area of nightclub ....not achieved.
* Walked past VIP area of nightclub ....achieved!
* Partied with hookers ....not achieved.
* Done blow with hookers ....not achieved.
* Eaten sushi with hookers ....not achieved.
* Eaten sushi ....achieved!
* Photographed with baby for cover of People magazine ....not achieved.
* Photographed naked for Vanity Fair ....not achieved. Yet.
* Photographed in suggestive poses with Hannah Montana for Vanity Fair ....not achieved.
* Photographed with Disney character ....achieved! There wasn't much of a line for Piglet.
* Inappropriately fondled by Disney character ....achieved! Baloo was a bad bear. Tsk. Tsk.
* Dated A list celebrity ....not achieved.
* Dated B, D or D list celebrity ....not achieved.
* Spotted celebrity ....achieved! I saw Buster from Arrested Development in a coffee shop once.
* Driven a Bentley ....not achieved.
* Driven a BMW ....not achieved.
* Driven a 1997 Chrysler Sebring with a large scratch on windshield ....achieved. Every day!
* Sold screenplay ....not achieved.
* Met someone who has sold a screenplay ....achieved! Paul Haggis is from my hometown. :)
* Fantasize about selling a screenplay ....achieved. Every day!
* Dropped names ....achieved! Did I mention Paul Haggis and Buster?
* Hiked to Hollywood sign ....achieved!
* Urinated near Hollywood sign ....achieved! (But I was discrete.)
* Pooped near Hollywood sign ....not achieved. May be more of a metaphorical goal.
* Pooped in Hollywood ....achieved! Hollywood and Highland complex.
* Bought $40 T-shirt ....achieved!
* Bought $200 jeans ....not achieved.
* Touched someone who was wearing $200 jeans. Quite possibly.
* Had a romantic breakfast at the Bel Air hotel ....not achieved.
* Had a power lunch at the Polo Lounge with head of studio ....not achieved.
* Had a power lunch at the Polo Lounge with someone who works at studio ....not achieved.
* Had a power lunch ....not achieved.
* Had power nap ....achieved! Just this afternoon!
Okay, now we tally it all up to see how well I am doing.
Achieved 14
Not achieved 21
I suppose that isn't bad but I'll have to work harder. Put my nose to the grindstone. Put myself out there. Make sure people know I want it.
L.A., I can conquer you yet!
