Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Lessons learned in Cancun

Just got back from a week in Cancun, Mexico. And I went from there directly to a doctor's office. He said I don't have anything that a couple of antibiotics won't cure. (I've got a lower respiratory infection, in case you thought differently.)

So, hmmm, let's see. I really did learn a few things on vacation and here they are.

  • If you finally give up the fight and let a bar girl pour a shot down your throat, then you will have had at least six more dumped down your gullet before you know what happened. (And the $2 dollar shot has now become $20).

  • If you participate in any games at an adult-only resort, then prepare to get naked or really drunk.

  • Seeing fat, middle-aged topless women is still better than seeing mothers change their babys' diapers by the pool.

  • Buying all-you-drink Hurricanes at Pat O'Brian's for $25 was a good idea at the time. The next morning, not so much.

  • If you insult the Irish, you might get kicked in the fluffy.

  • Seeing ChichenItza, the amazing ruins of the Mayans, was a great experience although I can't ever remember being in such hot weather (and I lived in Vegas for 12 years).

  • Singing What a Feeling (the Flashdance song) for a karaoke contest after slamming down three Vodka/Redbulls and two shots of Tequila was an embarrassing disaster waiting to happen.

  • A $350 Canon camera can be dropped on a stone floor in a bar and still work quite well.

  • Tequila will pretty much make me do anything, including stripping down to my underwear and dry-humping a girl on stage.

  • Cancun is really just an American city located in Mexico. They take American dollars, you can eat at Burger King, KFC or McDonalds and you can shop at Harley Davidson, Diesel, and the Hardrock cafe.

  • There is nothing faster in Cancun than a bus going along the main drag at 1 am.

  • Every price in the market is negotiable, but if you don't buy a product and they don't chase you down, then you've either pissed them off or your asking price is way too low.

  • Offensive t-shirts are an underappreciated art-form. Diet Cock; only one big calorie. I'm shy but I have a big dick. This isn't a beer belly; it's a fuel tank for a sex machine.

  • You are what people perceive you to be. Accept it. No matter how much it hurts.

  • Falling asleep in the sun is a great feeling, as long as you have 45 spf lotion.

Hopefully I can go back sometime soon. I think there are more lessons to be learned!

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