Thursday, February 25, 2010

Zombieland hat

If you didn't give ZOMBIELAND a chance when it was in the theaters, you should definitely check it out on DVD. 

Don't think that you've seen it all before.  Sure, you get plenty of undead targets and the hodge-podge group of humans trying to kill them.  There is plenty of gore to satisfy any horror fan.  And you get the comedy which was already done to perfection in the British flick SHAUN OF THE DEAD.

But ZOMBIELAND has something that the other films don't offer; a sense of glee.  Yep, the humans (especially Woody Harrelson's character) enjoy kicking zombie ass.  It's as if the whole world has become a real-life House of the Dead videogame and they're out to enjoy it.  They even go to an amusement park to further emphasize the carnival atmosphere.  Hell, zombie killing has never looked so dang fun.  If only those suckers were real!  


Unfortunately zombies aren't real and I will never appreciate the apparent satisfaction of blowing away undead brains.  I suppose that also means that my spleen won't ever get eaten by rotting undead teeth so I suppose the advantages outweigh the drawbacks. 

But it certainly does not mean I can't look like a zombie killer. 

Cringe as you might, but I was able to track down the hat that was worn in the movie by Woody's character.  As it turned out, they are awesome hats and very affordable.   They are made from recycled tarp used in the Brazilian rainforests and since they have survived the jungle, they probably can survive anything your head can give them. 

The website is Real Deal Brazil

Now I'm ready to go get me some undead.  If only in my dreams. 

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Mexican Dicks

Someone searched for Mexican Dicks and arrived at my blog.

How could this happen?!

I am not promoting ethnic pornography. Nor have I written anything about any unpopular Hispanic politicians.


So, just to show how pure my blog is, I'm posting a picture of a cute dog.

His name is Jessie. He has some anal issues but nothing serious.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

The $9.99 dinner special

This is what you get for under $10 in Las Vegas:

16 oz of New York steak cooked well done (medium rare was requested)
Assorted boiled veggies
Huge baked potato
Small glass of Coors Lite
Enough butter and sour cream to induce heart attack

Of course I had to gamble after my meal so the $9.99 special became $20.


-- Posted from my iPhone

Las Vegas is a little crazee

I've always believed that Las Vegas is one of the most unique cities on earth. Sure it's going to hell one day but until then enjoy the fun and get out before God wipes it from the face of the planet.

I've been here a week and I've managed to do a few things besides sit in a conference room and get educated. Here are my impressions, helpful hints and travel advisories.

Unless you like parking lots, do not drive down the Strip unless it's 5am on a Sunday.

Zumanity, the "sensual" Cirque de Soleil show is worth seeing but only if you can get discount tickets and are open to small breasted women and dancing gay guys.

Terrible Herbst hotel is a great value. If you have a AAA card, you can stay in their new rooms for $50 or less a night. The location on Paradise Road is very close to the Strip and parking is exceptionally easy.

The Bahamarita (a frozen drink) served at Bahama Breeze is an awesome treat but you'll feel foolish for drinking it if you're a guy. Trust me, this ain't no bud.

What is up with the Lance Burton posters? He used to look so fresh and conservative. Now this magician looks like he either has AIDS or has turned to the dark side.

Megabucks is worth playing because three dollars gives you a chance at winning ten or more million. I like to play Megabucks because I like to dream big.

Don't expect much if you're paying $2.99 for a meal. I guess you should expect to not have rampant diarrhea afterwards but that's about it.

The Shark Reef at the Mandalay Bay is a very cool exhibit if you like your fish swimming around in large tanks as opposed to being served on a plate for $25. It's a small exhibit and not entirely worth the $16 price tag but I suppose it costs a lot to keep aquatic life happy.

You don't have to have any fashion sense to walk down a street in Las Vegas. Jean shorts, overly tight tank tops and knee-high white socks are equally acceptable for both men and women. If Nascar is in town, flaming tattoos and trucker hats are additional must-have accessories.

Don't go see the Bodies exhibit unless you have a strong stomach. Even though I'm in the medical field, I almost had to sit down after I walked through a couple of rooms showing off naked, cut up and very real human bodies posed in various activities such as playing basketball. This is one seriously weird freak show.

Las Vegas is a paradise for people with money. For people with a more limited budget, you get to see what's available to people who had rich parents or got breast implants.

Las Vegas, you know I still love you but I gave you twelve years of my life and that was enough.

-- Posted from my iPhone

In Vegas

I'm at a veterinary conference in Las Vegas and I'm learning all sorts of fascinating stuff. For example, humans have three to five pounds of bacteria living in their gut.

Right now I'm learning about cat diarrhea. I'm falling asleep despite the fact that this is groundbreaking stuff. Unfortunately I'm seated next to two sick people. The guy is hacking up a lung and the woman is trying to hold back her sneezes with her hand. I definitely don't want to get H1N1 because I want to learn about kitty poop! Keep your mouths closed people!

Oops gotta go. Gotta look like I'm paying attention.

-- Posted from my iPhone

Friday, February 12, 2010

I may be MOVING!

After nearly FOUR years, I am in the process of moving.  When I moved out to LA, I had to pick an apartment over a weekend and I pretty much chose the first one I came across.  At the time, I thought that I would stay here a year and be gone. 

Well, time passed very quickly and one year turned into four.  It's funny how that works. 

I am probably going to be moving to North Hollywood.  If you're not from Los Angeles, let me share a few things about this neighborhood. 
  • It ain't anywhere near Hollywood.  Or West Hollywood.  It is in the "valley" so the rest of Los Angeles looks down its long nose at it.   
  • It is affectionately known as NoHo by its residents which is one way of trying to brighten a dull reputation and pretend that the neighborhood is ARTSY.  In fact, the area which I'm interested in is called the NoHo Arts District because it employs large numbers of underemployed actors. 
  • There are likely not as many knifings and shootings as you might think after driving through the area at night. 
  • Graffitti and homeless people give the area character.  You must also consider that graffitti is an art form and those homeless people might be the actors that you applauded at the theater the night before. 
I haven't had time to take pictures of my new neighborhood so I thought I would "borrow" some pictures to give you a better idea of what NoHo really looks like. 

Yes, it might look a little scary to you but I will be proud to call it my home

I can't wait to move!

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Afternoon at the LACMA

There is a good reason to venture down to Wilshire Boulevard and battle all the traffic that goes along with it:

The Los Angeles County Museum of Art, affectionately known as the LACMA.

It isn't very far from my apartment but distance in LA is measured with respect to time. At 12:30, it took twenty minutes to get my way down there from Studio City but at 4:30, it took over an hour. Unfortunately the LACMA opens at noon so for those of you who are living in the valley, it may be worth spending some time at the museum and then grabbing some leisurely dinner before heading back home after the rush hour.

Although fairly small, the LACMA has some great pieces of art. There are usually some visiting exhibitions (Renoir will be in town for the next couple of months) but the permanent works are definitely worth a visit.

They allow you to take pictures of the permanent exhibits. But remember, no flash or you will have a yawning security guard come over and beat you over the head with a baton.

This is Picasso's weeping woman. This was one of my faves at the gallery. It's almost like Popart before its time.

Back when I was a pretentious teenager (before I became a pretentious adult), I loved the works of Magritte and the other surrealists. Thankfully, they had a couple of Magrittes at the LACMA.

Including this one. Ceci n'est pas une pipe. Or This is not a pipe.

Of course, it isn't a pipe. It's a painting of a pipe. Magritte just liked to f&*k with people's heads.

I don't even know what to say about this one. It's just angry and I don't know whose skull that is in the dead center of the masterpiece. Art should make you feel something and this one made me feel a little disturbed.

A great portrait by Modigliani. The colors here are beautiful.

This painting was a little weird too. An orgy-like scene at Coney Island. It was a little raunchy for being done back in the 30s. And the guy is reading a magazine about Hitler. Nice touch.

This was a close-up.

Some circles. And some stripes. Call it art and you got yourself a couple million bucks. As long as you're alive when they sell it.

But remember, as an artist, you're worth more dead than alive.

I'm not a fan of the portraits. But there is a good selection of European art if that is what floats your boat.

A very distinguished guy with a very large collar.

And finally, there is a great little sculpture garden. There are quite a few Rodin sculptures which are well known for their brawny, raw and emotional appeal.

The sculpture below is not a Rodin in case I have any art students out there who want to give me a hard time. But I swear, there are Rodins at the LACMA. Go see for yourself. It's worth it.

Friday, February 5, 2010

Pee-Wee Herman Show!!

The Pee-Wee Herman Show - Live at the Roxy Theater
Last night I had the pleasure of seeing Pee-Wee Herman back in his saddle. 

So to speak. 

If you know anything about the show, Cowboy Curtis is the one in the saddle.  But I digress. 

A client bought tickets for myself and my coworker to go see Pee-Wee's show down at Club Nokia, located in downtown Los Angeles.   Apparently, Paul Rubens is trying to drum up publicity to make another movie and he wanted to see how much love he could get from a stage show.  From the number of people that  bought tickets for his month long run, it is quite clear that the love is quite strong. 

It was like going back in a time warp.  The stage was brilliantly set with all the puppets that made his show such a hit back in the 80s.  If I had been more of a fan, I would be able to name all the puppets but honestly, I was a little old to be watching Pee-Wee back in the day.  I had to catch him in reruns and in his movies and I never became a die-hard Pee-Wee Hermanite.  I admired his dorky boyish charm but I never found it all that funny. 

After watching the show live, my opinion has not changed.  In fact, I thought it was cute and quirky and entertaining but I didn't looooooove the show so much, I wanted to marry it.  If the truth be told, I found Pee-Wee a little tired.  His youthful enthusiasm has disappeared or maybe it was left back in the 80s.  I suppose that is to be expected since Paul Rubens is now pushing 60.  Everyone has to grow up, even Pee-Wee. 

The other original cast member isn't faring so well either.  Miss Yvonne is no longer the chirpy spring chicken she used to be and at her age, she is a little (no, a lot) too old for the new Cowboy Curtis.

But the show never lagged and criticizing the show is just well, mean.   Like Francis after stealing Pee-Wee's bike.  So let's just say, it put a smile on my face and these days, that's pretty damn good. 

Thanks to my client who did the voice of Chairry, we were taken into a Q&A with Paul Rubens after the show.  I found it very entertaining.  Paul was very honest about his struggles and when he thanked everyone for all the love, he sounded sweet and genuine.  Because I saw some of the real man behind the mask, it has made me into a fan and I hope he gets what he wishes for, even if Jambi won't grant it.   

Ahhh Pee-Wee, at least Chairry thinks you're cute!