Thursday, February 18, 2010

Las Vegas is a little crazee

I've always believed that Las Vegas is one of the most unique cities on earth. Sure it's going to hell one day but until then enjoy the fun and get out before God wipes it from the face of the planet.

I've been here a week and I've managed to do a few things besides sit in a conference room and get educated. Here are my impressions, helpful hints and travel advisories.

Unless you like parking lots, do not drive down the Strip unless it's 5am on a Sunday.

Zumanity, the "sensual" Cirque de Soleil show is worth seeing but only if you can get discount tickets and are open to small breasted women and dancing gay guys.

Terrible Herbst hotel is a great value. If you have a AAA card, you can stay in their new rooms for $50 or less a night. The location on Paradise Road is very close to the Strip and parking is exceptionally easy.

The Bahamarita (a frozen drink) served at Bahama Breeze is an awesome treat but you'll feel foolish for drinking it if you're a guy. Trust me, this ain't no bud.

What is up with the Lance Burton posters? He used to look so fresh and conservative. Now this magician looks like he either has AIDS or has turned to the dark side.

Megabucks is worth playing because three dollars gives you a chance at winning ten or more million. I like to play Megabucks because I like to dream big.

Don't expect much if you're paying $2.99 for a meal. I guess you should expect to not have rampant diarrhea afterwards but that's about it.

The Shark Reef at the Mandalay Bay is a very cool exhibit if you like your fish swimming around in large tanks as opposed to being served on a plate for $25. It's a small exhibit and not entirely worth the $16 price tag but I suppose it costs a lot to keep aquatic life happy.

You don't have to have any fashion sense to walk down a street in Las Vegas. Jean shorts, overly tight tank tops and knee-high white socks are equally acceptable for both men and women. If Nascar is in town, flaming tattoos and trucker hats are additional must-have accessories.

Don't go see the Bodies exhibit unless you have a strong stomach. Even though I'm in the medical field, I almost had to sit down after I walked through a couple of rooms showing off naked, cut up and very real human bodies posed in various activities such as playing basketball. This is one seriously weird freak show.

Las Vegas is a paradise for people with money. For people with a more limited budget, you get to see what's available to people who had rich parents or got breast implants.

Las Vegas, you know I still love you but I gave you twelve years of my life and that was enough.

-- Posted from my iPhone

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