Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Happy Anniversary to me!

It’s been TWO years since I moved to Los Angeles from Las Vegas. Goshdarnit, I can scarcely believe it.

And so, being the analytical creature that I am, I wanted to make sure I am on track with all my goals.

Here is the list of all the things I wanted to do and whether I have achieved them.

* Overcome fear of parallel parking in tight spots ....not achieved.

* Overcome fear of driving in Los Angeles ....not achieved.

* Overcome fear of living in Los Angeles ....not achieved. But maybe soon.

* Allowed past a velvet rope and welcomed into a VIP area of nightclub ....not achieved.

* Walked past VIP area of nightclub ....achieved!

* Partied with hookers ....not achieved.

* Done blow with hookers ....not achieved.

* Eaten sushi with hookers ....not achieved.

* Eaten sushi ....achieved!

* Photographed with baby for cover of People magazine ....not achieved.

* Photographed naked for Vanity Fair ....not achieved. Yet.

* Photographed in suggestive poses with Hannah Montana for Vanity Fair ....not achieved.

* Photographed with Disney character ....achieved! There wasn't much of a line for Piglet.

* Inappropriately fondled by Disney character ....achieved! Baloo was a bad bear. Tsk. Tsk.

* Dated A list celebrity ....not achieved.

* Dated B, D or D list celebrity ....not achieved.

* Spotted celebrity ....achieved! I saw Buster from Arrested Development in a coffee shop once.

* Driven a Bentley ....not achieved.

* Driven a BMW ....not achieved.

* Driven a 1997 Chrysler Sebring with a large scratch on windshield ....achieved. Every day!

* Sold screenplay ....not achieved.

* Met someone who has sold a screenplay ....achieved! Paul Haggis is from my hometown. :)

* Fantasize about selling a screenplay ....achieved. Every day!

* Dropped names ....achieved! Did I mention Paul Haggis and Buster?

* Hiked to Hollywood sign ....achieved!

* Urinated near Hollywood sign ....achieved! (But I was discrete.)

* Pooped near Hollywood sign ....not achieved. May be more of a metaphorical goal.

* Pooped in Hollywood ....achieved! Hollywood and Highland complex.

* Bought $40 T-shirt ....achieved!

* Bought $200 jeans ....not achieved.

* Touched someone who was wearing $200 jeans. Quite possibly.

* Had a romantic breakfast at the Bel Air hotel ....not achieved.

* Had a power lunch at the Polo Lounge with head of studio ....not achieved.

* Had a power lunch at the Polo Lounge with someone who works at studio ....not achieved.

* Had a power lunch ....not achieved.

* Had power nap ....achieved! Just this afternoon!

Okay, now we tally it all up to see how well I am doing.

Achieved 14

Not achieved 21

I suppose that isn't bad but I'll have to work harder. Put my nose to the grindstone. Put myself out there. Make sure people know I want it.

L.A., I can conquer you yet!

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