Friday, May 30, 2008

Forget Sarah Marshall

I know it's already been out for a couple of weeks but last night I decided to get my comedy fix by going to see the movie, Forgetting Sarah Marshall. It was playing at the Arclight which is an upscale theater in Sherman Oaks (as well as in Hollywood) where they "elevate" the movie going experience. You get to reserve a specific seat (just like in a real "theatre"), the snacks/food are supposedly of better quality and (this is the best part), an usher announces the name of the movie at the beginning of the show just in case you had no idea what you were about to see.

For all this, you pay $12 which, depending on the movie, can be a bargain or outright thievery.

So there I was, sitting in the dark, the usher had already done his announcing and left and the trailers were finished. I was ready for my movie-going experience with a zen-like calm. All of a sudden a group of people walked in. They were in their twenties with plenty of attitude. This surprised me because usually the Arclight is very strict about latecomers. They were talking really loud and they were told to shut up by someone in the dark. Voices escalated, I heard swearing and then I was SPRAYED with soda.

I turned around and two guys were ready to beat the shit out of each other. The one guy's face was soaking wet, likely from being at the receiving end of the other guy's drink. Their bitches were screaming at them to keep it cool and the one guy was yelling that he wanted to "take it all outside".

Since I had just paid my $12 for a movie (and hence wanted to escape reality in general and specifically the reality unfolding behind me), I tried to focus my attention on the big screen. It was at that moment that the main character decided to drop his towel and pull a full monty. Yes, I was exposed to a larger than life penis belonging to a flabby assed motherfucker. Thank you Jason Segal!

Guys yelling behind me, flying soda, gratuitous male nudity .... how in the hell did I deserve this? For $12!

The guys ended up leaving, I wiped myself off the best I could and thankfully the dick and ball show was very brief. I settled back into my chair.

Unfortunately, the movie was very disappointing ESPECIALLY after a few critics had hailed as an instant comedy classic. (Did they have a cut in the grosses?)

Let me sum it up for you and no, I won't ruin the ending.

There were four main characters.

Peter Bretter (played by Jason Segal); a pathetic emasculated loser.

Sarah Marshall (played by Kristen Bell); certified 100% cheating femalewhore

Aldous Snow (played by Russell Brand); certfied 100% cheating manwhore

Rachel Jansen (played by Mila Kunis); the best part of the movie although her character was WAY too tolerant of the annoying people listed above.

Mila is so beautiful in this movie that it is worth seeing (on some level) for her alone. She really is an exotic beauty and I hope that she makes more movies.

Otherwise, I can't recommend this flick. There is nothing very funny about a dorky guy who needs to grow a set of balls. (Maybe he was trying to prove something by showing them TWICE).

But hey, if you're into unrealistic plot lines, find hairy asses funny and have always wanted to see a movie which ends with a puppet dracula musical, then Forgetting Sarah Marshall may be just your thing.

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